Mushrooms Rise in Popularity with Hungarian Youth

BUDAPEST, HUNGARY — In post-rebellion Hungary, the revolutionaries are feeling the weight of their actions. The committee members range from capitalist to communist and neither side are willing to budge on their wants.

United States President Richard Nixon offered the country financial and humanitarian aid, revealing stark belief differences in the room.

“[Hungary] will not go begging for scraps from capitalistic pigs and be subject to the iron fist of capitalism once more,” vowed Enver Hoxha, a communist member from Albania.

Péter Veres disagreed.

“Nations in the west have prospered," he said. "We must move towards democracy and freedom.” The cost of revolution is compromise, but with such varying ideologies, that may be unachievable for Hungary.

Still, some committee members such as Theodor Körner, were optimistic.

“We cannot let our ideologies and talk of de-Stalinization stop us,” the Austrian politician said.

Romanian General Secretary Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej agreed.

“Nobody has a greater love for Stalin than I do," he said, "But, we need to stop the petty disagreements.”

Despite opposition, the message of communism is spreading past the borders of the Warsaw Pact. In the United States, an undetermined source is spreading communist propaganda amongst capitalistic New York.

However, Hungary has yet to address the devastating youth drug problem. The Daily Radio News announced to the assembled members that students in Budapest, Hungary’s capital, are undergoing withdrawals and medical rehabilitation after a massive campus drug raid.

Members of both parties were keen on receiving more details. Resident Prime Minister Imre Nagy assured that the drugs found were “not intense, very chill drugs. Like, light psychedelics.”

The Deputy Prime Minister verified this, hypothesizing that it was probably synthetic weed.

With this recent development, the host of The Daily Radio News reported that mushrooms have become very popular in Hungarian dishes, and “...are extremely popular with the young people right now.”

Egyptian President Gamal Abdel Nasser was skeptical.

“Can you specify what type of mushrooms?” he asked.

Prime Minister Nagy hesitated, before saying “Portobello, currently?"