Disneyland Oahu Convicts two Members of Castle Bombing

Tensions heightened and suspicions brewed as the Disneyland Oahu crew scrambled to uncover the identity of both the murderer of the late Head of Advertising and the bomber of the Disney Castle. Coming in the wake of the revelation that the Head of Guest Services had framed the Head of Advertising for the highly publicized cocaine scandal, the staff of Disneyland Oahu invested many resources into the investigation.

“We’re working as hard as we can to get to the bottom of both crimes,” the new Head of Advertising said. “The atmosphere is very intense because we don’t know who to trust.”

After much heated debate, the staff put the Head of Advertising, Head of Casting, Head of Pyrotechnics and Head of Transportation on trial for the explosion that destroyed the Disney Castle. Before the commencement of the trial, committee brought in three pre-screened witnesses to testify on the events of the night of the bombing. One witness, a colleague of the Head of Cultural Respect, reported to have discovered the badge of the Head of Fantasyland amid the rubble of the castle. The second witness, a friend of the Head of Pyrotechnics, informed the group that just prior to the bombing, she had heard the Head of Pyrotechnics making phone calls to “sketchy” people.

“It was just really weird and uncharacteristic,” the friend said. “That combined with the access she had to a lot of fireworks is all I have to say.”

The third witness, a member of the Head of Pyrotechnics’ staff, explained that just before the explosion, the Head of Pyrotechnics requested him to move a large quantity of fireworks into the basement under the Disney Castle.

“My boss is sitting in this room right now,” the pyrotechnics staff member said when asked to elaborate. “There’s not much more I’m at liberty to say.”

In the wake of the ensuing deliberations, the Disneyland Oahu staff acquitted the Head of Casting and the Head of Transportation, leaving both the new Head of Advertising and the Head of Pyrotechnics to face conviction. While the committee met the verdict of the Head of Pyrotechnics with cheers, uncertainty tinged the atmosphere as the committee failed to acquit the new Head of Advertising.

“I definitely don’t think that the new Head of Advertising was complicit in the bombing, especially because he wasn’t even here at the time of the attack,” the Head of Resort and Hotels said. “The Head of Pyrotechnics, on the other hand, had a lot of the evidence pointing her way.”

Questionable convictions aside, the staff of Disneyland Oahu still faces other crises beyond the scope of the castle bombing including the trial of the murderer of the former Head of Advertising and the increasingly vehement protests against the park’s location.

“Even after this trial, we still have a lot left to do for the park to be successful,” the Head of Sanitation said. “With the protesters and the trails, I hope we get to all of it.”