Opinion: Strife in the Wizarding World

Do not be fooled by the glamorous robes and intoxicating spells: the wizarding world is in peril. Caught between the threat of the No-Maj group the Second Salemers, set on eradicating magical folk from existence, and the crimes of the terrorist Grindlewald, the current state of the magical realm remains far from the imaginative idea that No-Maj’s can simply dream of. Unfortunately for the many wizards and witches throughout the United States, the Magical Congress of the United States of America (eloquently dubbed ‘MACUSA’) remained in pure anarchy throughout their session when attempting to address these current assaults.

Petty squabbles and comically sick burns characterized early debate. Unlike in organized, civil discourse, usually expected from heads of department, speakers were targeted for mere theory and simple conjecture. In one instance, the Head of Public Information, in response to another head’s suggestion on revealing their existence to No-Maj’s, bluntly stated “do you not remember the Salem Witch Trials?” It’s a wonder how any of these people got so high up on the food chain. I would suggest checking the vaults at Gringotts.

With all the time delegates spent either dissing other departments or patting allies on the back, it became virtually impossible to determine the direction debate was flowing, much less how a resolution could possibly be reached. Should the Second Salemers or Grindlewald be of the highest priority? Should time be spent comforting our own instead of fighting our enemies? How could my bland outfit possibly compete with Surveillance’s remarkable black robes? Only until the Head of the Department of Mysteries suggested a plan to obliviate prominent, but violent, No-Maj’s, seconded by the Department of Intoxicating Substances, did a concrete plan come to fruition. And yet, despite the positive direction this proposal signified, it was quickly disputed by the Department of Law Enforcement, who reminded the committee of Grindlewald’s threat, and proclaimed, firm, that “we must give him death.” Unsurprisingly, said suggestion was quickly disputed.

The council members remained determined to argue purely for arguments sake. A person couldn’t even sneeze in that room without the threat of being hexed. Likely in response to my excessive prayers, the council soon dissolved into a relatively quiet unmoderated caucus, finally suggesting that the representatives are capable of something besides shade. Blocks fluctuated from second to second, with a majority of delegates eventually gravitating towards Intoxicating Substances and Mysteries, those who, at the least, had a solid plan in mind. Regrettably for the committee, three proposals were barely suggested before a patronus was let loose Times Square, protested by the furious Second Salemers, even though said patronus was only a worm. Not exactly a huge threat. So, unfortunately for the ‘Proper Trial’ proposal, headlined by the Departments of Obliviators and No-Maj Fraternization, it seemed that the trial, or potential execution of Grindlewald, would be put on hold with this new revelation, at least for now.

While the wizards likely won’t be able to read this up from their high horse, but one cannot even begin to unpack the irony presented with the Congress’ current conundrum. The very muggles that they rail against, time and time again, seem remarkably identical to the council in this particular session. One would only need to turn on C-SPAN (muggle term) to spot the similarities between House Representatives and MACUSA. While capable of comprehensive legislation and concrete policy, childish bickering and direct confrontation remain as requirements for members of the muggle Congress. But after the behavior displayed in debate, it now seems required behavior of the Magical Congress as well.